Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I’m warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody’s special, nobody’s gifted
I’m just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number’s unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I’ve bled
I’m not gone, my mind has drifted
Don’t expect much, I’m warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today’s just yesterday’s tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I’m still here, warped & twisted.
Tracks
Standing here with my hands in my pockets, like I have a thousand times, thinking that it took one breath, one word, one action, to change my life.
Man and monsters both make mistakes, but for every man who cries and begs for time enough to grieve, you’ll find a million more monsters like me who’ll lick our wounds and laugh when we leave.
I lie on the grass, breathing in the silence, listening to the night, looking up at the stars. I look up at the night sky and I wonder about life, about you, about how much pain you’ve caused me, about why I’m here. And I look up at those small, beautiful stars, so far away, and I realize life has never seemed so big.
You’re a monster.
A fucking Monster.
But I wouldn’t know-
would I?
I wouldn’t know a thing,
because me-
I was unconscious.
Laying there on the cold tile of your friends bathroom floor.
So no, I don’t remember you saying you had to pee,
while I remained shivering, in serious need of a hospital, 3 feet away.
I don’t remember you’re snicker.
And I’m not haunted by the sound of you locking the bathroom door.
I don’t remember you throwing those god-damned khaki cargo pants of yours,
in the corner by the hamper, to look like dirty clothes,
in hopes your friend wouldn’t suspect a thing.
I don’t remember you crawling on top of my body,
and I have no recollection of you undoing my button-fly jeans.
I don’t recall the nauseating smell of lemons on your breath
that you ate as a dare hours before.
I don’t remember turning my head to the side
and seeing the bottle of Russian Vodka,
that you told us all you were completely wasted on,
sitting, unopened, on the counter-top.
It’s not possible for me to remember not being able
to shove you off of me.
And I don’t remember being able to piece together one last thought
before I passed out for the last time.
This wasn’t spur of the moment.
It always rains hardest on those who deserve the most sun.
If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.
—Robert Fritz
If you do not believe in yourself, chances are that nobody else will either.
—Victor Hugo
Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world…or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives. For better…or for worse.
Why are people so cruel?
Why must we set out to destroy others? The things I’d never fathom doing, others wouldn’t even think twice about. People are out to get others, even if they never did anything to them. That’s what you taught me.
I’ll pretend you are referring to the weather when you ask me how things are.
I’m trying, I need more time. You’ve gone, I’m just sitting here, happy you’re gone. I won’t say anything at all to you. I’ve got a thousand words for you. Don’t worry, I’m not going to call. I don’t care for what you have to say. I never will. I’m stronger than you. I’m crossing you out of my life.
